Happy Ending

Just Fine =/

I know it has been a while since i typed anything real into this blog. So believe me when i say, the whole of this post will be all from the heart. It's unfortunate, but yes, i am still counting, only this time, im counting for a totally different person but not surprisingly, for the same situation. (This has happened so many times that i can use this as proof that when it comes to realationships, i'm never gonna succeed.) So now im just gonna initiate a new chapter, and when i start a new chapter, i'd need a little time to get back on my feet so i wont be blogging for a while but feel free to give me a hand (whatever readers i have left). Therefore, i'll have to say goodbye to another chapter. But before i do that, let me tell you about the expectations and reality of the story.

Expectations

Ones expectation is the little story that has been going on in their mind; it's the course of the story that will lead them to the ending that'll make them happy. But most of the time, they'll get obsessed with that idea and will try their very best to achieve it. However, this obsession will be their downfall.

Reality

Ones reality is the story that really happens; the story that almost all the time, doesnt match up with the expectation at all. Reality is the story that the expectation doesnt want to meet but will eventually have to because sooner or later, reality will come and punch them in the crotches.

My Expectations

Keep the feeling inside, and wait for the right moment; wait for her to finally be neutral so when i tell her that i like her she will keep an open mind. She will be so touched with my little gesture that she'll keep an open mind for me. (Reality Check 1)

Trial 1; to overcome the friends problem; the problem with the water being too dirty. Maybe, just maybe, if the water is finally clear, then we could be together without a care in the world. (Reality Check 2)

Trial 2; nothing standing in the way but a flummoxed mind. After trying for a perhaps longer period of time, maybe i could be the catalyst for her to change her mind. (Reality Check 3)

My Reality

(Reality Check 1) Failed miserably. The gestures instead of working the way i thought it would, it worked the exact opposite. Feelings were somehow sparked up, but feelings not enough to overcome the pumbling problem.

(Reality Check 2) The problem has been slowly but surely settled. But it's not the water anymore, it's something else.

(Reality Check 3) I couldnt chance it anymore. Hence, i couldnt be that catalyst that i longed to be.

It says up there that i am just fine, but have i ever really been just fine? Before this, when im emo, i'd put emo. But when i was feeling horrible, i'd put just fine. For some reason i cannot fathom, this time, it's different. Because i have never felt so sure before; so sure that all of this is still worthwhile; so sure that there could be so much more. Just not sure how to explain it. It's like the ending of the story sucked, the plot of the story sucked, the climax sucked, but the characters somehow played their parts just... right.

I guess what im trying to say is, though the story of mine didnt go as i hoped, im perfectly fine with it. Because in this chapter of my life, she is my happy ending.

ant-clusion : Farewell for now.